Successful Relationships

Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When they find that special person, they believe that love will naturally grow. But in relationships we encounter everything - challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. But few know how to handle the rough times.

We seldom learn about how to build relationships in a waythat brings out the best in all. However, there are simple laws of successful relationships. These laws act as guideposts, helping us to choose wisely and to avoid costly mistakes. Seven of these basic laws are described below.

Law #1 - There is never a lack of relationships. Relationships are abundantly available.

Many live with the idea that love is scarce and that they must cling to whoever comes their way. This idea can cause them to get involved with the wrong person, or stay in a relationship that is toxic for them. It is crucial to realize that relationships are plentiful. (If you don’t have one, look and see how and why you are keeping it away). It is never necessary to cling to the wrong person out of fear of being alone.

Law # 2 - Know Who You Are And What You’re Seeking

Many enter relationships hoping that it will give them a life, or make them feel better about themselves. They may want their partner to take care of them, or give them the approval they’ve been denied.

But it is of the utmost importance to know and respect who you are, to enjoy your own company and be aware of your own values and goals. Otherwise, it is easy to become lost in a relationship, to become a pawn in someone else’s world.. A healthy relationship is always mutual, it is an acknowledgement that both partners are equally valuable.

Law #3 Don’t Keep Choosing The Wrong Person For You

Some find, to their amazement, that they choose the same partner, over and over again. Relationships patterns repeat as well. This is called the repetition compulsion.

It is the unconscious need to repeat a situation over and over until we master it or it turns out the way we want it to. This compulsion keeps some people stuck in a bind. If you are caught in this, see what this pattern is doing for you. Actively choose different places to go and make a point of choosing individuals who are different from those you usually meet. Become stronger than the pattern. Turn you life around.

Law #4 - Enjoy Honest Communication

Without the ability to say No, we cannot say Yes. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not to make another happy. Don’t give up that which is meaningful to you for the sake of a friendship. The bedrock of all happy relationships is mutual respect and acceptance and open, honest, communication. Ask for what is important to you.

Find out what is really going on for your partner. When a person really feels listened to and accepted they feel loved.

Law #5 Don’t Try To Change Or Fix Other Person

Let everyone be who they are, including yourself. So many of us are obsessed with changing or fixing everyone. This is not friendship, but manipulation. . Many believe that if the person cared enough, they would certainly change for them. This is not so. Changing another is not your job. Find out who the person you are with really is. If someone feels accepted, they can change themselves, if they want to.

Law # 6- Know Difference Between Real and Counterfeit Love.

Feeling happy, high, excited or attached to a person, feeling possessive or dependent is not love. It’s infatuation, ego thrills or dependency, usually based upon fantasy. Inevitably, fantasies fade. People then feel that the love is over. It is not over, it’s just been a form of counterfeit love. We must learn the difference between real and counterfeit love, between love and fantasy.

Counterfeit love always involves struggle and pain. Real love never does. Real love is a verb. It is not based simply upon feelings, which come and go, but actions. It is important to learn "to"do love". Do love and you will be loved. in return.

Law #7 - See the Best In Others - And In Yourself.

What we see in others, we bring out in them. If we focus upon their negative points (and let them know about them), you can be certain the negativity will increase. When we focus upon what is good in that person and let them know, this brings out the best. The better a person then feels about themselves, the less need they have for negativity. Often it can just fall away on its own.

Law #7 1/2- The Master Law - When They Come We Welcome, When They Go We Do Not Pursue

Understand that each relationship lasts for a certain time. You’ve come together to learn from one another, to share, enjoy and often move along. This is not rejection, but growth and change. Change is natural and inevitable. Don’t see it as failure. Don’t see it as loss. Don’t try to control when time comes to go.

The greatest art of relationships is to know how to let go. When someone new comes welcome them, when it’s time to let go, thank the person for all you’ve received from them and let go.

About the Author: Discover the surprising truths about love that will save your relationship, in e-book Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships). http://www.truthaboutlove.com. Psychologist, relationship expert, offers free ezine at her website, http:www.brendashoshanna.com

Relationships are important to our mental, physical, and emotionalwell-being. In order for a relationship to be considered "successful"it must stand on a solid foundation. This foundation will allow it tosurvive even the most complicated of all situations that may arise. Inthis relationship guide, I will share with you some of the secretsbehind successful relationships. If you want to ensure that you andyour partner are able to sustain the relationship that you are intogether, these unique ingredients will result in a successful formula.

One of the first things that you can do when it comes to keeping arelationship fresh and successful is to be certain that you are open tothe feelings and opinions of your partner. In turn, your partner shouldalso be receptive to you. Sharing our feelings, as well as the thingsthat we hold value in is very important. When there is no one elsethere to share these intimate instances with, your partner should be.Being able to communicate effectively is the main ingredient to eachand every single successful relationship. If this area of the bond thatyou share is affected, you will quickly experience other areas in therelationship that are rough.

It is important to understand that every relationship will experience acrossroads in which there is a difference in feelings, expectations,and opinions. It is not a difference that makes a relationship rocky,it is the inability to recognize and appreciate these differences. Thesecret to overcoming this is to find a mutual agreement between theboth of you. If you are able to do this, you will quickly find thatthings run smoothly, with little cause for concern. Compromise is anessential when it comes to the secrets behind successful relationships.Knowing and implementing compromise in your relationship can go a longway!

The next ingredient that helps formulate a successful relationship isbeing able to listen appropriately to your partner. Not only willlistening truly allow you to hear what is being said when it comes toyour relationship, but it will also allow your partner to becomfortable when it comes to expressing themselves. When your partnerspeaks, it is important that you allow them to do so. Interrupting themand causing them to become defensive about their unique stand on thingscan cause a lot of problems. Just instill some basic consideration whenit comes to the lines of communication in the relationship, and youwill quickly emerge successful and happy.

Remaining positive in the relationship can mean the difference betweensuccess and failure. You should always strive to see things in apositive light - including your partner. No one likes a pessimist, or"realist" and many pessimists enjoy calling themselves. Those that arepositive and take a unique stand on even the most challengingcircumstances are generally easy to approach, talk to, and reside with.If you find that things are getting a bit "rocky" in yourrelationships, you should change to this frame of mind. You willquickly emerge happier, healthier, and your relationship will trulyblossom!

By following the simple steps listed here, you will soon begin todiscover that you have a successful relationship that you can becontent with. Success is often viewed as being in the "eye of thebeholder", and that is not the way it should be when it comes torelationships. Success should be in the life of the doer. If you are adoer, and want to make things succeed, then they will!

About the Author:

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.